I have a trillion butterflies in my stomach from calling you and my voice is all grogy and groce because im dead tired ugh
methlabrador: on a scale of 1 to alfred kinsey how obsessed are you with making scales of things
adamantwalrus: shavingryansprivates: how to paint a squirrel i dont know what i expected
Anonymous asked: i know you like Blink-182, but just wondering, what do you think about Angels and Airwaves and +44 ? :)
someone come massage my back
robosexualginger: “i am so ready for the zombie apocalypse, bring it zombies” says the middle-class white girl who never exercises, owns no weapons, and lives in a heavily populated area
Greetings. I've recently been in your acquaintance.
And this is absurd.
But here I provide to you my contact details.
So hail me perhaps?
Me: So I just met you
Me: And this is crazy
Me: But here's my blinker...
Me: LET ME IN YOUR FUCKING LANE, GODDAMMIT.
shavingryansprivates: romeo romeo where the fuck is you, romeo
teapayne: One time my friend broke up with her 7th grade boyfriend cause he smelled like pasta
bagelchips: shoutout to the kid that whispers the answer to you when the teacher calls on you but you weren’t paying attention
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE
dezi is legal
I CAN DATE HER!
Today was my first day as being a shift out of training and I cried and i couldn’t stop until Katherine came in. Like everything got better once she came in. But there wasnt another shift to tell me anything about the floor, I didn’t know who had taken a break, who needed one, who was leaving. I didn’t count the safe until after an hour of being there. You’re supposed to be...
hyperbolequeen: tumblr is like a box of chocolates you never know how much gay porn you’re gonna get wait no that’s not the quote
gaymzee: horton hears a what horton hears a who horton hears a chicka chicka slim shady
musicians: stop illegally downloading our music we're broke
kids: but we're broke too
everets: reblog if you have a crush on me but in a really aloof way like you’re pretending to reblog it because it’s silly but you actually want to make out with my face
Television: In the criminal justice system--
Me: SEXUALLY-BASED OFFENSES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS. IN NEW YORK CITY, THE DEDICATED DETECTIVES WHO INVESTIGATE THESE VICIOUS FELONIES ARE MEMBERS OF AN ELITE SQUAD KNOWN AS THE SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. DUN DUN
onefish-twofish-redfish-truefish: nominominus: summerlightning: The hardest part of being deaf? Read More :c why are some people so damn rude and they can’t accept anyone, like seriously you’re going through the same thing. why couldn’t he understand that.
therealhamster: god i literally cant think of anything to post so heres benjamin franklin
pyrex-vision: aint no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets